Making the Time for Yourself

There's something about taking time off for me...

Originally for today, my daughter was supposed to have an appointment which kept her out of school. Then the doctor had to cancel it due to a new compliance with equipment. 

I debated if I wanted to continue the day off as scheduled.  I still went to bed early last night, just in case I'd be going to work in the morning.  I changed my mind when I woke up.  No, I didn't change it because I was tired. But since I'm being honest, I was a bit tired, lol.

No, the real reason is I don't take time out for me.  And I am the most important person in my life.

So I'm talking the day just for me.  That truly gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling.

The only other times that I take time just for me? When I workout.  This is the one hour everyday that is JUST for me and no one else.  I get to clear my mind.  Focus.  Breathe. Determined to make myself better. 

And you know what? No one can take that time away from me except for me!  And the same goes for you, too.

Everyone complains about not having enough time.   Of course not! We are a lot busier than we were a few decades ago, 100 years ago, a thousand years ago.  The human race, in general, had doomed itself to not having enough time.

It's not about having the time, it's about making the time.  It takes work.   Look at it as a romantic relationship.  It takes work, right? Couples make the time to go to therapy, have date nights, make special meals for each other, to talk about the day, to take vacations, and/or yes, even to have sex.  :)

Look at the relationship with yourself as the same thing.  Make the time to read something that is personal development.   As a beachbody Coach, our goal is to read 10-15 minutes a day of personal development.  You should be constantly growing as a person, adding value to your life and to others'.

Have a date with yourself.  Make it an appointment to work out just the same as you would if you were getting your hair done or going to the doctor.   Would you miss these appointments? You would try your hardest not to--do you reschedule those appointments if there's a conflict?  Yes, you do.  So why wouldn't you make the same effort in rescheduling your workouts?  Let's look at this as a regular appointment from now on, shall we?

Make special meals for yourself. This can happen on the daily or on the weekly if you meal prep.  Stay true to what your goals are.  Remember why you started working out.   "What you eat in private, shows in public."

Talk about the day.  Okay, so don't have to take this literally, but take 5 minutes to reflect.  Take 5 minutes to relax, think, and slow down. What could I have done better today? How can I do better tomorrow? Do I need to change anything? What are my goals for the week? Month? Year? Next 5 years?

To take vacations.  Oh yes! You know, even though I'm not going anywhere today, doesn't mean I don't consider this as a vacation.  I mean, I'm using my vacation time to do so, aren't I? :)  Vacations are time out from your regular routine of work.  I know that I'll still be working on my coaching job, but at least I'm not putting on my military uniform today.  :D

So let's discuss the last one.  Lol!! Just kidding... I don't need to go into this one, lol =)

So here I go--off on my little mini day vacation.

When was the last time you took care of you.   Let's start setting that appointment.  :)

I used to have a personal trainer

Back when I was having serious trouble losing the weight, I actually ruptured a cyst that was in my left wrist during the push-up component of my PT assessment for the air force.  Even though I went to the doctor regarding the extreme pain, I ended up having to "suck up" the failure on my record.   I was traumatized. This was the first test for me to fail.  I've never failed a PT test before this. How can this be?

I knew that the medical documentation, or profile/waiver, would only last so long until I had to retest 42 days later.  I managed to pass my next test while being exempt on the push-ups.   But now there is a new problem to face, not only does it hurt to do push-ups, but I have 6 months to get myself into shape so I can pass the test without having to get another medical waiver.   If I receive too many waivers, then I put myself at risk for a medical evaluation board (MEB) and could potentially be kicked out of the Air Force for having too many medical issues.

I had to do something right away.  The problem was, my then boyfriend deployed all of the time in the Navy on submarines and I worked a job with crazy hours in the Wing Protocol Office.  How in the world am I going to workout during my off time with two kids?  I decided to look around my area for gyms which included daycare and I found the one that was the best fit for me: Life Time Fitness.

Holy crap this gym had everything! Indoor and outdoor pools, a spa, salon, health cafe, store, cardio room, 3 group classrooms, yoga studio, pilates, state of the art strength training room, trainers, basketball gym, Raquetball courts, fitness tests, rock climbing gym, daycare facility, family Locker Room, events, competitions, sauna, steam rooms, hot tubs!!! The list gets crazy!  Bonus: my kids loved it there, too! They would ask me every day if we could go to the gym.  I'd get my workout and they'd get their own workouts, too! They even had classes for the kids, too.   How cute is that!?

So there was this thing called Life Time Bucks.  You could use them towards a free trainer session, certain specific fitness tests, the salon/spa, etc.  So because I knew I needed help losing the weight and getting fitter, I used it towards a training session.

And then I met Nicole... Nicole was this sweet, down to earth, always smiling, petite girl.  I could probably have bench pressed her. She was very intuitive and mindful when it came to my recent injury and immense weight gain.  I had gained nearly 30 pounds from extreme stress and anxiety. She seemed very optimistic in helping me, and so we went on with our session.

A week went by and I realized that I couldn't do this on my own.  So I approach her at the "all intimidating" trainer desk full of buff guys and ask about retaining her as my personal trainer.  And so the trainer/client relationship started.

I thought it seemed expensive, but I figured this was how people look as great as they do--with help from personal trainers.  I mean, that's what famous people do, right?

So let's break this down really quick:
--For the month of my gym membership, I was spending $79.99 for me and $6 per kid ($12) to have 2 free goes off daycare a day.  So that's a total of $92/month.  That gave me full access to the entire facility.  I figured that was a steal for me. I would've paid more than that a month just for the daycare to be able to work or at the gym on base for free!
--Then, I added in the personal training costs.. Her sessions were $80 each.  I needed to start something about my fitness right away, but couldn't afford to work with her as often as I would've liked. I typically saw her 2-3 times a week. I don't know if you did the math just now but it cost me between $640-$920 a month.  It was an expense I could afford since my boyfriend and I just moved in together, but kissed away any ideas of starting up a savings again.

So.... Did we do the final math yet? I was spending between $722-$1,012 a month alone on my fitness.  I used the personal training for four months and spent a royal amount between $2888-$4,048 just to pass my PT test.

That's a disgusting amount for fitness.  I could've bought all of the Beachbody programs for less and would've gotten a trainer in my home on a daily Basis for a heckuva lot longer than just the 4 months.   Plus! I only lost 8 pounds through my trainer.  And I trained hard with her and in between sessions, too.  I was practically killing myself in it.  I went on some crazy diets and they caused my to teeter totter.  As soon as I passed my test, I relaxed on the training, and tried to keep eating healthy.

Needless to say, I went right back to being 168 pounds, tired, moody, exhausted, quickly angered, and not motivated.

Now, I'm not saying that Life Time Fitness is evil.  HECK, if there was one in my area, I'd go again because their facilities are amazing!!  But what I am saying is that the price of fitness is expensive.   If you want to make a start on the road to better health, you need to make the investment in yourself, in your time, in your family, in your life, PERIOD!  Do you need to make the same investment like I did?  Hell no! Lol

That's what makes Beachbody so great.  There is a program out there for you.  It will work.  There are literally thousands of success stories in each program and these are real, genuine people like you and me.  They started off like anyone else, not having a clue.  And the investment part? Holy crap it's so amazingly low on the investment! And you get a trainer in your house everyday, a coach, a nutrition plan, Shakeology, support from a big group of others cheering you on and a chance to be happier with yourself, your life, and every thing else will start to improve!

It's just that simple.  Get the program, get the coach, workout, get results and be happy!

So, how can I help you towards your goals today?  :)

My Road to Beachbody

Hello there out in the interwebz!

My name is Cinnamon. Yes, it's my real name.  It's actually on my birth certificate and everything! Crazy, right?  No, I'm not a stripper.  No, I didn't slip and just tell you my "stage name."

Oh, you don't believe me?  See for yourself:

Not the best picture, I know.  But at least you can see my name.  But yup, that's me, alright.  Thanks, mom and dad, for giving me a name which I will always have people doing a double take and not believing me.  That makes it extra fun for me every... single... time! LOL

So, why am I starting a blog?  Oddly enough, I used to have one years and years ago.  It was really just for me.  But I'm hoping that it'll be different this time.  I'm not doing this for me.  I'm actually doing this for YOU.

Yes, you read that correctly: YOU!

I'm actually a pretty happy person.  I have a job.  I pay my bills.  I live a decent life and I'm able to provide for my family.  I have a nice boyfriend.  I get to serve my country and be a part of the 2% to have worn the military uniform.

I wouldn't say that my life is easy, but it's a decent life.  I have to work hard at it every single day.  It used to be that I didn't want to work for anything.  Life was too hard and I didn't want to deal with it...

Flashback to a few things about my past: I was in an abusive family.  Now, not really so much in the sense of it being physical.  I'll admit, there were definitely some physicalness to it, but the real abuse was verbal, emotional, and psychological.  My family wasn't nice to each other--that's about as simple as I can put it without going too far into the details.  I also grew up in a military family.  So add in that we moved every few years, and my only real best friend was my little sister.  My sister and I hadn't had the best relationship, either.  We've gone days, weeks, months, even years not speaking to each other.  My parents were awful to each other, and eventually they divorced.

Well, around that same time, I was sexually assaulted by two people whom I thought I trusted. I went into a very deep depression... I started having anxiety attacks at the age of 13.  I had no idea what they were--just that it hurt, and I never told anyone.  I don't think I could've made it anymore obvious how much I was in pain during those years.  I kept to myself, didn't speak much, and was incredibly introverted.  Even if someone approached me to help me, I wouldn't have taken it anyway.

I'll spare the details on the rest of my "growing pains" for now--perhaps as this blog develops, more will information will be released... Fast forward!

Today actually marks my 9 year anniversary of being active duty in the Air Force.  Can you believe it? I've been wearing a uniform for exactly 9 years!!

I'm also a single mother of 2 beautiful children.  Here they are:

They are seriously my reason for my drive.  The reason which keeps me going.

Please don't mistake this for saying they are my entire world.  That would not be a fair statement.  They are simply the reason why I keep trying.  I don't have just me to worry about anymore.  The moment I found out I was going to be a mom, I wasn't allowed to be selfish after that.  I had someone depending on me.

"Fun" fact: I've always been a single mother.  I've never been married, and I went through both pregnancies totally single.  Perhaps those stories can also be saved for another day.

So, not only am I active duty military, but I'm also a single mother of 2.  BOOM!  Can you imagine?  It's insane, right?  How do I do it?  I ask myself that very question every single day.  Maybe this goes back to what I mentioned earlier:  They are the reason I keep going.  My drive.  And I will do whatever it takes to make sure they live a happy and healthy life.  

Speaking of happy and healthy:  I am a Beachbody Coach.  Cool, right?  Basically, I help keep you on track with you health and fitness goals.  I absolutely love fitness!  It's a huge passion of mine.  I want to help every single person that I possibly can.

Guess what?  I wasn't always fit.  Say what!? But you're in the military!  I know, I know.  You'd think that, but nope!  I was overweight, even more depressed and I hated myself.  I literally ate my pain away with anything I could get my hands on.  I did what I could to minimally pass my fitness test in the military.  I didn't care about exceeding the minimum standard.  I did what I needed to do to get by.  And I wasn't happy... My friendships, relationships, and all other aspects of my life were suffering as a result of that.  I was irritable.  I took it out on my then boyfriend of over 3 years.  I was 168 lbs at 5'6", and wearing a very tight size 12/14.  Let's just say that I was 163 lbs when I was at full term with my daughter, and 185 lbs when I was full term with my son.  I didn't exactly feel good about that...

Then the one person whom I thought would always be there for me had left.  The man I thought I was going to be with forever was gone.  I pushed him away over those 3 years without even realizing it.  In hindsight, I couldn't blame him.  But at the time, I was literally heart broken.  I had no desire.  I let a man have that sort of effect on me.

So I took something into my own hands, for once, and stopped blaming everything and everyone else.  I started hitting the gym.  HARD.  Maybe it was a way of torturing myself for what I had done.  What I thought was all my fault.  My clothes started to get loose.  The pounds started to melt away.  I looked and felt great.  My self esteem was changing.  I felt good.  Eventually, I was actually happy.  I lost 25 pounds, and was able to finally get off of the anti-depressants.  

Holy crap, there was a different me under all of that crud.  I went from a size 14 to a size 4.  I was optimistic... smiling more, my kids were happier, my house was cleaner, my life started becoming more organized.  I was attracting men whom I thought would normally be out of my league.  I became more confident, I started taking on challenges to which I would've said, "No way!"  I was ready, willing, and able.

My first goal was to lose the fat.  Check. 

My second goal was to get an excellent on my Physical Fitness Assessment (PFA).  Check.

My third goal was to look and feel fitter... Ummmm, yeeeeeeah..... about that....

I hit a plateau.  For months, nothing was changing.  So I decided to start up an instagram.  I was hoping that the pictures would show some progress, and maybe I'd inspire others to join me in my fitness journey!

I had been approached by a ton of people on there about being a Beachbody coach.  Hmmm... sounds like a scheme.

Then this guy messages me...  He seems cool.  We talk about fitness.  He's genuine and helpful.  He's cheering me on!  Then, BOOM!  He hits me with him being a coach.  A-HA!  I knew there was a catch!

I let him ramble on about him being a coach and what that meant.  He asks to talk to me on the phone.  Alright, dude, I'll humor you...

So he calls... and it was a great conversation.  I learned a lot.  I was curious about it.  I actually had the INSANITY program stored away somewhere in the house and barely used it.  I ordered it a long time ago and never finished the program.  He tells me he'll coach me through it.  So I sign up for a beachbody account and I order Shakeology. I had absolutely nothing to lose.

I started the program two days later, and my first order of Shakeology comes in the mail later that week.  I was on FIRE!  My progress was so noticeable every week!  Here is a picture of the first 28 days:

Happiness!  I couldn't believe how my body was changing!  Now, believe it or not, my weight actually remained the same.  But my posture is unbelievable.  My stomach was clearly getting flatter.  I was losing the "back fat." and looking curvier and tighter.  All of this was with help from my coach, and by drinking Shakeology everyday.  I was ecstatic!  My cravings were curbed, I felt fuller for longer, my digestion was regular, I was less moody, happier, and the shake tasted great!

I continued on for the next two week until another wrench was thrown into the mix.  It wouldn't be in pure Cinnamon fashion without something to complicate things.  For quite a few months, I had been experiencing welts and bruising (sometimes bigger than the size of a fist) were showing up on my body.  I didn't know where they were coming from at all.  You know when you hit yourself and you think, "Wow, that's definitely going to leave a mark later."?  Well, I didn't have any of that.  Sometimes I wouldn't even know they were there until someone would point it out to me. After it had gone on that way for a while, I decided to make a doctor appointment.  My platelet count was really low.  Basically, my body was attacking itself.  I was diagnosed with a blood disorder, told to take it easy on anything high impact, and that if I were actively bleeding to immediately report to the ER because my blood won't clot properly.  If I continued my workout program, I may do more damage than good because of the internal bleeding.  So I had to improvise.  

I maintained a workout regiment where I could still do PT with my troops, kept up on drinking Shakeology every morning (and sometimes even twice a day, because it's yummy!), and maintained my nutrition plan.  Two weeks go by and my platelet count gets high enough for me to get back on track with INSANITY.  FINALLY!  So I get started back up on day 42 again... here is my picture for that:

Oddly enough, even though I see some MAJOR differences in the photos.. I actually gained 4 pounds--of which I can only assume is muscle, because it's definitely NOT fat.  I went from 142 to 146.

Then, I was able to keep it up for a few days (just this past week).  And yesterday, I had to go in for a simple medical procedure which had a lot of complications involved and lasted longer than it should have.  I had no pain medication, was in agony, experienced extreme discomfort and intense bleeding, and I actually went into shock during the procedure.  I went home, exhausted and in pain, dying for tylenol, motrin, anything, and for a nap.  So, since yesterday, I've been worried about the crazy bleeding, and of course, all of the discomfort and luckily no more intense pain.

I want this crap to go away.  I need to get back onto my workouts.  My body feels super bad for not getting to do what I trained it to do.  And honestly, if I didn't have my coach through all of this, I would've given up... I would've put the workout program back into the drawer where it "belonged."  I would've probably given up after finding out about my medical issues.  I would've never even heard of Shakeology and all of the health benefits that came with it.  I would've never thought to myself, "Gee, Cinnamon, after this discomfort goes away from your procedure, you're going to get back into INSANITY as soon as possible and you are going to finish this program for the first time!"

I want others to know that life will happen.  Things will happen where you feel like you can't go on anymore.  It's easy to give up.  Trust me, I know.  You know how people always tell you, "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"?  Well, it's true.  And if that's the case, I'm strong as hell!!  

And I've still got my goals in mind.  I keep reminding myself why I do it.  It's not because it's a habit or I have to, or just to look good naked (which is definitely a plus.. I mean, let's be honest!).  But because it made me a happier person.  I feel like my life is more fulfilling.  I feel like I can contribute something to the world.  I feel like I can take on anything and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will stand in my way.

So get this... I decided to become a coach myself.  Why?  Because for me to go through all that I've gone through, and to feel this good about it.. I mean.. that's got to be something I need to share with the world, right?  The secret to happiness?  Is to be happy with yourself.  To treat your body right because it's the only one you've got.  That how you take care of it is a direct reflection of not only how you treat yourself, but how you will treat others.  Now, I'm not saying you need to be a super model.  By no means am I anywhere close to that, nor do aim for that.  I aim for health.  I'm aiming for my health.  I'm aiming for your health.  So, let's aim together.